Vulnerability Offers Acceptance
One of the biggest things that God has been teaching me over the past 3 months has been the deep and holy practice of vulnerability. Unfortunately, being vulnerable is incredibly scary and requires a great deal of risk. God has been teaching me that vulnerability in the face of risk is courage. How can I challenge others to "be brave" and show a lack of courage in my own life? This is the question that God has been convicting me with. What I write is the honest truth of what God has been teaching me, and I pray it is a message that encourages and challenges you the way it has for me.
Let me set the record straight, I am by no means a person who lives and leads from a place of fear. In fact, if you know me, you probably don't even see me as "uncourageous". You actually probably have quite a high view of me. But being "brave" enough to appear "brave" to others is not bravery. That's called "limited vulnerability", and it is something that we are all incredibly gifted at possessing. Let me prove it.
In one of my classes at Fuller we discussed the implications of social media on the Christian practice of truth-telling. So, I gathered over coffee with some local ministry leaders and the conversation we had was quite delightful. In it, we observed that there are unwritten rules/boundaries on what is appropriate and not appropriate to post on social media. We often punish (by ignoring) the people that post things that are just too weird, open, or honest. We then reward those (by liking and commenting) that only post the best parts of their life. So, there is this space in the middle that we are allowed to operate in; between the poles of acceptance and exclusion. This is called a place of "limited vulnerability".
The places we work in, eat at, and gather all have these unwritten/unspoken rules of "limited vulnerability", but the truth that I want you to hear is this; If you are never fully vulnerable, you never give others the opportunity to fully accept you. The harsh reality is that many of us struggle with acceptance due to the fact that we have only projected "half-true" versions of ourselves. People have accepted these "half-true" versions of us, and that helps...but it doesn't make us feel wholly loved and truly accepted. We avoid vulnerability because we are so fearful that people will leave us when they see the dark corners; but the risk is what makes the acceptance real.
"Fear Not", or some form of it, is the most repeated command in the Bible. In fact, it is often spoken directly from the divine. (God, Jesus, and angels.) It is my belief that the fear of being vulnerable, authentic, and honest is straight from the enemy. This is a lie that is crippling the next generation, and all generations, into living and projecting these "half-true" versions of ourselves in both the real and digital worlds. This lie cripples us from experiencing the fullness of God's love and acceptance. This lie cripples us from receiving true love from those around us. This lie cripples our self-image from seeing the beautiful and unique creations that we really are. So I say this to you, who like me, often think it's impossible....you can really be loved, and you can really be fully accepted.
God has shown me that through the powerful and courageous act of personal vulnerability, other’s lives can be changed as well. In some of my most recent blogs ("Living Against The Curse" and "The Harmful 'Pastor's Wife' Cliche: An Homage to Stevie") I have received the most encouraging feedback I ever have. What you may or may not have noticed is my vulnerability in both of these blogs. I was willing to declare what I really thought about certain topics regardless of the risk. This risk has led to GREAT conversations about the Kingdom across a wide variety of audiences. God spoke to many through my very small steps of vulnerability, and now I feel so much more accepted and loved as a writer than I ever did before. This is the two-sided and powerful nature of vulnerability/bravery.
So, I encourage you to "be brave" by being vulnerable. Don't be afraid to admit your scars, because others have them too. Don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses, because they may be someone’s strengths. Don't be afraid to share your real story, because without it we all miss out on what you bring to the table.
So, come bravely in all your vulnerability and let God love every single part of who you are.
Grace and Peace,
Austin